The Curious Case of Advil and Motrin

So, ibuprofen. A wonder drug, yes? Treats those aches & pains like no other. No side effects. Beautiful, right?

Until you discover you are allergic to it. Yes, this can ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Maybe not to normal people, but to me, yes. Here's the fascinating part: an ibuprofen allergy pretty much mimics Fibromyalgia.

I've been feeling nasty for weeks. All over body pain, concentrated in my arms, sometimes my legs. Headaches. Nausea. Fatigue. Vertigo. A few months back, the dreaded Fibromyalgia diagnosis came, and since it's a life-long thing, I was just starting to figure out how to cope with it.

Due to the pain, I have to take things to make me functional. I have Tylenol 3 (aka, my friend, Codeine), but didn't want to become dependent on it, so I usually treated myself with OTC meds. Tylenol itself is useless to me (I think I'm resistant after a couple surgeries) and therefore, I turned to my old standby: Advil (and whatever other ibuprofens I found around here.)

Over the course of the past 3 months, I've had to take it nearly daily-I would awaken with a headache, or my arms hurt so bad I couldn't move, or I felt generally lousy, or you know, I FRACTURED MAH TOE. The little orange or red pills were a constant in my life-I always carried them, they are at my desk at work, here in the cabinet-you name it, there they were, comforting me with their quiet presence.

Here's the rub: I was feeling more and more peculiar every day. I couldn't get out of bed. I had constant migraines. The pain was worse. I attributed ALL of this, to my bloody valentine: Topamax, and the withdrawl from it.

This past weekend, though, I tipped the scales: I ATE KEY LIME PIE. Why is this an issue? HELLO, WHEAT AND EGGS, HOW I MISSED YOU. OH, LOOK, MY HEAD A'SPLODE FROM PAIN.

Whoops. So I downed 3 Advil (above the normal dose, but less than prescription strength, and for a migraine, the norm.) After about an hour, I was high as a kite. I stupidly DROVE home on this, too. I imagine driving drunk is similar to this. Scary, and not something I'd recommend. Luckily, it was late, there weren't many cars on the road, and I didn't hit anything-but the whole ride I was gripping the steering wheel like it was a life preserver. A pass, this time. Lesson learned.

The next day, I awakened with a bender of a headache. I assumed it was the after effects of the migraine, and popped two advil. Srsly. Within in an hour, I was drugged out, and the PAIN. OH THE ARM PAIN. Who knew?

So I did me some research. You know what they don't tell you? The side effects of ibuprofen. Like, anywhere useful, say, THE BOTTLE. TEH INTERNETS TELL ALL, though. Page after page of side effects-identical to my own. Apparently, ibuprofen is scary stuff, and toxic to some people. AND I AM A LUCKY MEMBER OF THIS GROUP.

I quit my little friends, cold turkey. Within days, no arm and leg pain. Headaches and vertigo, better. AND I SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. Did I mention, it can cause insomnia, too?

So, word to the wise, check your OTC drugs for side effects. I can has allergies to safe medications? YES, I CAN HAS.

Day Soy: Soylent Allergy

This morning I was a sloth and couldn't decide what to test. Truly, I wanted chocolate, but it has soy in it, in small amounts, so that made the decision for me. Soy it was.

Oh, weight this AM: 110.4 (what the HELL? I ate a TON yesterday, at least that's what I thought. HOW AM I LOSING WEIGHT?)

Anyhow, on my second half-cup of coffee (I try to drink my coffee in half-cups at home so I can have a little more without over-doing it), I put a ton of soy milk into it.

I also started frying up some tempeh (wild rice variety) in some canola oil, which is derived from soybeans. I did not include soy sauce.

After about 15 minutes, the soy milk started reacting. OH, THE AGONY. Just as I suspected, my digestive tract is not a fan. I had an issue years ago when I switched milk out in my coffee, and had suspected it was an issue-this confirmed it. As that steadily increased, I finished cooking the tempeh and started wolfing some of it down.

GROSS. I forgot how much I don't like tofu and tempeh products. They're a little...off to me. Anyhow, I got through a couple pieces when the woe was overwhelming, and much like day corn, I spent the next 30 minutes running to and fro the toilet. AWESOME.

That's when I noticed my all time favorite effect. MY THROAT AND MOUTH WAS ITCHING. How did I not know I had this allergy? Soy is in EVERYTHING! Turns out that 90% of people who have the allergy don't react to small amounts-so that explains why I didn't know-I might be okay if I limit the quantity of soy lechitin preservative in my diet, but I need to be pretty careful.

I'm currently dizzy, itchy and my abdomen hurts. THE ENTIRE ABDOMINAL CAVITY. I THINK I CAN FEEL MY SPLEEN.

Anyhow, needless to say, SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE! IT'S PEOPLE! or really, it's an allergen.

Day Peanuts: You're Driving Me Nuts!

So, weight this morning: 111.0. Suspicion is the dancing caused some water weight loss. Oh well. Holding fairly steady, so I'm not worrying.

I decided to try peanuts after my third pass of the pantry had me drooling over the peanut butter. I swear, a plastic jar of processed food has never looked so damn delicious. Said peanut butter is the all natural sort, the 100% peanut variety, with little peanut chunks, the sort that has to have the oil stirred into it. A brand new jar of delicious, salty, fatty goodness, waiting for me.

I toasted a rice cake, and put the peanut butter on that, as I can't eat bread. I thought about putting it on an apple, but I like melty peanut butter better. IT WAS LIKE CRACK. I have never, ever tasted anything so wonderfully tasty in all my life. Honestly, how was I living without this? I inhaled the cakes in about a minute flat, and nearly choked, which was pretty funny.

After coughing up a lung from aforementioned lack of chewing, I waited. And waited. For.....nothing. Not a single reaction. At all. FINALLY.

Needless to say, Peanut Butter is my new bestest friend. I shall love it and hug and call it George. Or, you know, just re-integrate it into my diet, as I clearly do not have a peanut allergy. WOOT.