Monday, January 25, 2010

Day Wheat: Carbapalooza Wrap-Up

Morning weigh in: 111.2

Huh. How is it that I LOST WEIGHT on my dairy binge yesterday?

Anyhow, I trekked to work with a box of Barbara's Shredded Wheat cereal, as it is 100% shredded wheat, literally nothing else to make it palatable. YUM. I also toted with me as fortification a banana, an apple and some potato chips. WORKDAY OF CHAMPIONS.

At about 10:15 I commenced stuffing my face with the hay bales, aka shredded wheat. GROSS. I didn't use any milk. BIG MISTAKE, as I nearly CHOKED TO DEATH (which my mother had predicted might happen). I had to run to the water machine and chug a glass to get one wheel down, and then proceeded with the second one, sipping water the entire time. Total wheatage: 40 grams.

THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE, IT TASTED LIKE SAWDUST. NO JOKE. I DO NOT RECOMMEND. No wonder the diet tells you to eat Triscuits (which I avoided as they have soy as preservative.) Holy hell, shredded wheat tastes bad without all that frosting!

Fifteen minutes later, I started to feel....funny. Like I was underwater. I also had massive heartburn, likely because I DIDN'T CHEW MAH FOOD PROPERLY, but that's another story. Five minutes later, like a freight train hurtling down the tracks, the headache crashed through my skull and landed right between my eyes. I was unable to look to my periphery for most of the morning. I was in and out of nausea, and had some vertigo, which has persisted.

I also noticed another very intriguing side effect from the wheat: it makes me very pissy. I had MASSIVE ROAD RAGE on the way home from work, something I hadn't noticed was missing from my day-to-day life until it came back like an unwanted guest. GOOD TIMES.

Say goodbye to the wheat yet again. I might re-test this on the egg day if there's no reaction to eggs, but for now, I'm chalking this up to a fail, as in yes, virginia, there is an intolerance.


  1. To be fair, Massive road rage is caused by life

  2. Seriously, they are gross. Do NOT recommend. I don't know how people eat that crap without all the frosting, personally.